bythe_books | 048 - Daddy's home (why are all of my guys dads?)

048 - Daddy's home (why are all of my guys dads?)

[Private to Libby]
I can't-- I can't have this, not knowing what I'd done to ~~myself~~ ~~my Sammy~~ DI Tyler.

~~But I did it for my family~~

~~He believed it. Naive, mad copper that he was. Thinks I'm his dad, 'cause he and Sammy share a name? Sweet godfathers, that's just about obscene, it is.~~

Too many people could be in danger if I've got this, and he-- I-- the copper knows you're the most level-headed warden here. Libby, you can beat this flood.

Can I trust you to hide it away? ~~Else I'll turn it on somebody~~

[OOC: Sam's like, teetering on the edge of going bye-bye for the rest of the flood, sooo with his last bit of self, he's trying to just get the gun out of Vic's hands]

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Level-headed...?

What do you want me to take?

His-- my gun. Everybody else's gone mad, and I can't give it to an Inmate.

~~You must be crazier than I am~~

I can do that. I could never shoot another person. I can promise you that, if nothing else.

Where are you?

Thank you. If I slipped and... shot somebody in this state ~~no danger to anybody, 'less they meddle in my life~~, I don't think I could--

Sam's room. It's here, but I can't-- I don't want to pick it up. ~~He tried to kill me with it~~

I'll be by in a minute or two. Just wait for me there.

---

[Minutes pass, and there is a knock on his door.]

Sam? [She remembers that she now sounds like a man.] It's me, Libby.

[Sam stares at the gun on top of the telly, hands crossed around his torso as he sits across from it, eyeing it as though he expects it to discharge on its own. When there's a knock, he turns to look at the door, then gives a startled flinch when he hears a man's voice. Oh-- right, it's Libby. He gets up, opens the door, and stares at her as though he doesn't quite recognize her-- 'course, that could be because she's a 'he' right now]

So you're a shrink, yeah? [He points to his head] Maybe you can help. It's a bloody mess in here. Memories of meself as the detective's own father--

[He winces, shakes his head, and covers his eyes with a hand]

Libby, it's-- Sorry to call on you. It's over there. [He removes his hand and looks towards the television, then backs away from the door] You're holding up alright, yeah?

[She looks at Sam with sympathy. She understands all too well what's happening to him, because she's right in the middle of it herself. She wants to fix it for him, but she can't even make it better for herself.]

Don't be sorry. [She follows his gaze and walks over to the television, taking the gun; some part of her tolerates it...and another part welcomes its weight and solidity, the way it feels in her hand.]

We're as fine as we can be. [She says this as she finally realizes that there is no longer just Libby, or even a firmly divided Libby and Michael. She is both of them and they are both stuck.] We, meaning the me that I was before, and the me that just got here. The two of us won't integrate completely, and I think that's because neither of us can bear it...but neither will go away.

[Their voice is detached; if they get emotional here, they'll completely lose it. Checking the safety and finding it on, they tuck the gun into the waistband of their pants.]

How're you? It sounds like you've given up entirely.

[He nods] Good. Good, that means you're doing better than the others. Dunno if anybody besides the two've us remember who they were-- I mean-- are.

[He breathes in a sigh of relief as Libby takes the gun away]

I can't even explain what it's like... I wanted him to stay, I'd have given anything to stay with my-- our-- family, and-- [His voice breaks, and he rubs his eyes again, taking another long breath] Now my dad's here and I want him gone. [He seems to struggle to say this next sentence, as though he's fighting with himself] I want him to run away from me again.

[They grimace at his words. Some part of them knows what it's like to be a father who just faded out of their child's life.]

Maybe there's something you can do to make this easier. You just need to find a way. I think I know how to save myself from this. But it wouldn't work for you, man.

[Sam blinks]

What're you going to do?

[They smile a little.]

We're going to face our demons. Nothing you have to worry about. You need to concentrate on yourself.

[They make their way back to the door.]

Good luck.

[They walk out, closing the door behind them.]

[Sam watches Libby or... whoever she is now leave, feeling a twinge of relief as the gun's out of his presence. He offers a weak nod in return, then lets out a sigh as the door's shut. He closes his eyes]

I just want to go home...

[A look up at the ceiling. Nope, the Admiral's still unresponsive.]

...to my family.

[And with that, Sam's left alone with his father.]

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048 - Daddy's home (why are all of my guys dads?)

Private to Sam

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